Dr. Phil has been known to ask his guest if they have ever watched him before, when trying to prepare them for the bluntness that is about to come. If you have been reading my blog for a while you probably realize that I am very honest here and honest about myself and my shortcomings. Today will be no different.
Happiness. For several months now this is something I have been working on. I admit, I have a long way to go on this one still. Not a long way to being happy, but a long way to accepting the happiness and not denying it.
Some of you know my situation and the things I deal with on a daily basis. I am trying to get to a point where fewer and fewer know of this struggle.
About a year ago I found myself becoming that person who is constantly unloading on whoever was in my presence, whether by choice or circumstance, about what my troubles were. I was consumed by my trials and tribulations so I just knew the entire world was stopping for my problems. Why wouldn't they?
But on many occasions I found find myself laughing out loud (really, not the LOL kind where you say you are but look like a sour puss while typing it) to a comedian on my comedy channel. Or I might slip up and be doing some chair dancing with my tunes on at work.
But then, what I would assume is my sub-conscience, would stop me in my tracks. I could almost hear an audible voice asking how I could be so happy given my situation. I will not go into detail, but 'my situation' is about 3 things I deal with that any single one would bring most folks to their knees.
Back to the voice....it was like a reminder that I had to remain down trodden and absolutely no smiling! Heaven for bid should I smile and someone would think that everything was ok and that I'm not super stress juggler. The dark cloud that I chose to put on everyday was a reminder to people that I had more on my plate than I deserved.
I think part of me also felt like if I gave some insight to my struggle, when/if the day ever came that I was found sobbing on all fours in the parking lot while pulling my hair out I wouldn't have to pause for passersby and explain why I was having a meltdown.
If I let you know my story in advance and you find me face down in the bathroom with my clothes on inside out wearing 2 different shoes there would be an unspoken understanding and you could just step over me and go on.
There is a type of person who just wreaks of despair and sadness. Most people would rather start a conversation with a cockroach crawling on the wall than strike up a conversation with Debbie Downer or Always Mad Mary.
But several months ago I had one of those AH HA moments Oprah talks about and thought "Tam (that's what I call myself), Tam, your outcome will be the same whether you enjoy those moments of happiness or not."
I also remember 2 years ago I was told part of the reason that I was selected for the position I am in now is because I always have a smiling face to anyone I pass in the hallway.
So, if I could brighten someone else's day by simply smiling, and not smiling was not going to solve my problems, why not enjoy these times? Why not do my 1 person line dance in my chair?
So I listen to music, A LOT! It is my cheap therapy. It distracts my mind, transports me to different places and times and makes me happy.
So one goal for 2017 is to stop and cherish those moments when I feel good. Frolic around on the days that I can see the rainbow through the smog and realize life IS pretty darn good and my blessings out number my challenges.
I am still standing. God has held up His end of the bargain to take care of me (maybe not on my terms, but that's another post). I have lived to fight another day. I can honor my end by giving Him the glory and His light sine through me.
So hold your head high and your complaints under your tongue. In the end everyone has stuff and really do not care about yours. And remember, a smile may not change your junk but it just might make someone else forget about theirs for a few moments!
Until next time- Safe Picking!
Tammy aka Tam
Tammy aka Tam
Oh, in case you yourself would like to do some chair dancing check out these videos available through Amazon.
