How many times a day do you check your Facebook, Instagram or other social media accounts? Do you wake up in the middle of the night and check it while you're lying awake? How often are you in a room with family or friends and your face is glued to your phone?
I will sit down to glance at it for a few minutes and 45 minutes later I am so side tracked that I am watching videos of blue monkeys in tutus.
A few nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night, of course reached for my phone, and started to scroll through the newsfeed. I knew there wouldn't be very much new news since I had just caught up a few hours before. After about 20 minutes I put it away and tried to go back to sleep.
I noticed that my heart rate had increased and my mind was racing from one story or another that I had just read. See, I have determined that Facebook is a source of great anxiety for me. I'm being completely transparent when I tell you this. Exposing some very raw details about me.
As I look at all the stories, the bad angel (I'll call him Jones, due to keeping up with the Jones') starts to speak to me in that very degrading voice. I try to ignore him but it's always there. I absolutely love seeing everyone's photos of the snow, Christmas, Mother's Day, vacation and so on. But this voice inside is always asking things like; How does she stay that slim with 4 children, I can't and I've never given birth. How do they afford a home like that with her staying at home? I have to work full time do not have those extras. It must be wonderful to have a family that is still so close and celebrates together. Why can't my family be that close? He is loving the time with his grandchildren when I can't even see mine. Why did God not chose the path for me where I would have given birth to my own child? It goes on and on. So several times a day I am comparing myself to others and I always come up short.
I truly understand the old saying "fake it til you make it". I think that's what most people on these social media sights are doing. You get the perfect posed family photos, pictures all their stuff with a caption of how blessed they are (humble bragging), and a million other things that are only surface photos.
You never see the side of people struggling with drug addiction, depression, infidelity, loss of jobs, sickness etc. It occurred to me that I am comparing myself to people like someone I knew who appeared to have the beautiful life, big house, gorgeous body. But, they had contacted me to find out how to get into their spouses phone because they had caught them cheating less than year into their marriage.
There is so much time that goes into looking like we have a fabulous life instead of just simply living a fabulous life! That's when I decided that I am doing a month long fast from Facebook and other social media. I am going to focus on my fabulous life and making it better than beating myself up for what I don't have and trying to convince everyone else.
Another reason I am concerned about the focus on these things in our lives is I have noticed a dramatic decline in actual human interaction. Why should we meet up with our friends, we can have girls night from our couches now. A close group of friends of mine used to meet for dinner every other Friday night for years. Now if we see each other 3 times a year it's an accomplishment. It seems that we know what is going on through Facebook so there is no need for the real, human, face to face relationship anymore. That's saddens me.
We determine ourselves what is great for us and no one does. I do have a fantastic life and I am not going to let that be sidestepped anymore.
For the next month, instead of 20 minutes here and there on my phone, I plan to use that time to organize a closet, talk to my husband, go for a walk, actually call a friend on the phone. I am removing the apps for these sites from my phone and tablet. I will not receive any notifications or alerts. I still have my accounts I'm just not going to be accessing them.
Those few stolen moments here and there, I plan to use to catch up with what Matthew, Mark John and Luke are up to. Hopefully create the kind of excitement that makes me want to spend a few minutes with God instead of watching yet another video of someone falling (Yes I love those).
I am just using this as an experiment to see what is possible by removing any outside negative forces that I can. I challenge all of you to limit your social media time and see what else you can replace it with for 1 month.
I appreciate all who share my blog and sincerely thank you for it. In the meantime I can be emailed at
tomaptam@gmail.com if you need me.
Until next time-Safe Picking!
