Living an Unscripted Life

In a world of reality television vs. scripted television we all know the difference. So many times with TV shows and movies we know what the next line is going to be. We know what the actor is going to say or how the plot is going to turn. 

I have thought many times about how scripted or predictable people can be, or rather their words can be. When a shooter randomly kills 5 people, the shooter's friends and neighbor "never expected he would would do anything like this. He was always polite and quiet". 

When a crime happens the newscasters always tell us that "the incident is still under investigation" or "is ongoing". 

When we have a love one die, our friends tell us that "we are in their thoughts and prayers" or "they are in a better place". Which by the way, I wonder how many of those people actually stop and truly say a prayer for the others. 

Or when your son goes to prison, you are told that "maybe this is what's best for him". 

When we get a promotion, a new car, new house, or take that elaborate vacation, we "have been blessed to have these things". 

I have always been envious of people who have the perfect condolence, greeting or response to any situation. I find myself reading post comments on Facebook looking for these unique folks. 

Instead of falling into the Stepford wives greeting camp, I am striving to be unique in my personality and my words. I want to be the one who has something truly meaningful to say. Something so that the recipient feels that personal connection with me, not that I just hit the quick reply option on my cellphone. 

God created us all in His image. We were not designed to be the same. So why should we walk, talk and act the same.

I challenge you to love who you are enough that you are going doing and being different than most of the robot population that roams the earth. 

To help you with this I am including some clever and unique responses to some of life's situations. 

Courtesy of wishesquotes.com 

Condolences for a death:

• We are sorry for your loss. (NAME), was such a great person, (HE/SHE) will live on in our memories forever.

• May the memories of (NAME) help you find peace.

• "What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us." -Helen Keller

Happy Birthday! 

•  Happy Birthday! This is the oldest I’ve ever known you, and you look great for your age.

• May your blessings always exceed your age. Enjoy your birthday, and may you have many more to come.
  

• May calm seas and bright sunshine define the rest of your voyage. Happy Birthday and may there be many more to come!

Get Well Wishes

Get well soon, my friend. Your absence makes me sad and I long to see you feeling better. Get well quickly because you are missed by so many. Take good care, take time to heal and know that many are praying for your speedy recovery.

I miss you so much and so does everyone else. We all miss you and wish you a speedy recovery. We especially miss your humor and your kindness. Take care and know that we are eagerly awaiting your return.

I just heard about your illness and I want you to know that I miss you and will be praying for your speedy recovery. Being ill is no fun; that is for sure. So, take time to heal and know how much I and so many others miss you.

So sorry to hear that you’re not feeling well; just heard about your illness last night. I, along with everyone here, send their best wishes and prayers to you. We all wish you a speedy recovery. Follow your doctor’s wishes and before you know it, you’ll be in fine form!

Everyone here is thinking about you while you are in the hospital and recovering from your illness. We want you to know how much we miss you and long for your return. Best wishes we send to you for a quick recovery. God Bless!

Birth of a Child

• Having a new baby changes a wife and husband into a mommy and daddy. As you venture into parenthood together, you will become wiser and more mature, while finding a new profound love for the amazing baby you have produced. Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

• May your new bundle of joy bring happiness into your life and fill a void in your heart. Take pride in loving and raising your little miracle. I know you will be the best dad you can possibly be.

Engagement

I hope you enjoy all of the pleasures that togetherness brings in life. May your life hereafter be filled with happiness and delights. Good luck on the days to come.

Heartfelt congratulations on your marriage. May your bond last forever, and should it ever change, may it change to a firmer and better one.

Wishing you many more days as happy as this one, many more occasions for celebration, and a lifetime of love and laughter.

Blessings to the happy couple! May your commitment deepen, your joy increase, and your love grow stronger from this day forward.

This momentous occasion marks the start of your life together. May the journey be a happy one filled with peace and harmony, joy and laughter, and romance and passion. May your enduring love be the crown jewel that ties together all the rest. Best wishes!

There are literally 1000's of greeting online if you simply take a moment and Google them.

Even when you are in the office and you see someone with a new hairstyle, instead of the typical "your hair looks pretty" try something more unique like "your new hairstyle is really flattering on you".  Instead of just our everyday compliment of "you look pretty today" change it up a bit with "you are absolutely glowing today".

We never know what our words mean to someone so choose them wisely. Your moment of noticing that person may be the only time anyone does. Make it count by making your words count!

Until next time- Safe Picking!

Tammy

 

Death By Elastic

There are things in life that will try to kill you. Cancer, ISIS, black widow spiders, cottonmouth snakes,waist slimmers, running marathons.....wait a minute,waist slimmers? Huh, what are you talking about? Well I am going to tell you a mostly true story about how one tried to kill me last week.

That innocent little G popped up on my phone notification alerting me to that day's Groupon special. Ah, a waist slimmer. Not a tank top and not the slimming shorts, just a little extra support around the middle. Easy enough. So I made my purchase and waited patiently for my miracle belt to arrive.

It made it here on Wednesday, the day before a very important appointment that my husband and I had. Fantastic! I can try it tomorrow.

Thursday comes and I shower and take extra time with my hair and make-up. Remember, it's a big day. So, I give my husband that final 10 minute notice that I will be ready to go.

Then I remember my little something something that is going to change my life. As I'm going into the bathroom I do remember to take a pair of scissors with me to cut the tag off. I'm so smart that I knew I couldn't cut it off the back if it did happen to be a little snug. Bahaha.

I was realistic when ordering this and bought an XL because these things tend to run small. By the way, if you have to order a small or medium, YOU DON"T NEED ONE!

So when I hold it up to my waist it looks more like a thigh slimmer. It barely covers my navel and is a good 2 inches shy on each side.

I tell myself that it stretches and it,s OK.  So I choose to step into it instead of pulling it over my head. Thank goodness for that decision. I can't imagine how the other way would have gone. So, just above my knees I start to see there is going to be problem.

I tried spreading my legs as far apart as I could to stretch it out but it had as much give as what I give to Puppy Haters of America, NONE. I keep pulling and tugging until the top of it is at about my hips. At this point I look like a can of biscuit popping out of the can.

But I push on, I have to walk out of here looking like a super model for my husband this morning. I talk a deep breath, suck in my belly and pull with all my might. And break 2 nails. Ripped them right off. $%*&#  So now I have to either get into or out of this thing AND fix 2 broken nails. I am convinced that this contraption could make mother Theresa say a 4 letter word and flip off a priest.

Is 9 am too early for tequila? But that would we require me to leave this bathroom to get it and there are some things in life that just can't be unseen. This would traumatize my husband for life.

By now I'm sweating and my make up is running. The baby powder is mixing with the sweat and making a nice pasted and/or grout. But I am not giving up! One more pull and it's in place.

Yes, my waist is smaller, but everything that is missing from my mid-section is now a nice roll around my rib cage and 2 rolls around my hips. I'm fighting back tears with everything I have now. Today is suppose to be perfect!


My hair that I spent so much time on now looks like I combed it with a blender and sweat is trickling down between my boobs and rolling down between the cheeks of my butt that are plastered together.

I make the decision to abandon ship and write it off as a lesson learned. BUT, I still had to get out of this. If I pull from the bottom it just stretched down further. So, I started working my way down from the top. Mistake! It began to roll down my belly on its own, When it got to my panties, it rolled them up in it, in turn giving me THE worst wedge I've ever had in my life.


 It's time for my husband to start banging on the door saying we need to leave. I truly told God that if there was ever a time for Him to help me out He would not let my husband come through that door. So, I have this thing equal to a boa constrictor around my waist and creeping into places that no gynecologist has ever gone and I have no idea how to escape.

That's when the see the scissors. Hallelujah!  Yes, I cut my miracle waist slimmer and my panties off of me and saved my own life.

When my heart rate finally slowed to a normal level I decided right then and there that Jesus made me with this body and I would never again torture myself trying to alter it with another "As Seen on TV" product again!

My lemon may be bigger than some others but this is how He designed me and I am trying to be more accepting of it.

I made it out the door and hubby had no clue of what transpired behind that door between me and elastic torture chamber.

Until next time-Safe Picking
Tammy