She looks so different

This is not my story but someone else who has given me permission to share because it is so profound.

A lady I know, who we will refer to as Gabbi, was unhappy in her marriage. For years, conversations that I had with her were peppered with complaints and grumbles about her husband. I got the impression that he was not committing major crimes like infidelity, spousal abuse or hiding a double life. He just did 100 small things a day that drove her crazy.

As we got closer she confided in me that she had never really gotten over her first love. Every time her husband missed the target on what she needed, she compared him to her first love. Apparently this first love affair had never made it past the point of belly flies. They weren't together long enough to have to manage money together or decide who was staying home with the kids and who got to have a night out. So all her memories were of rainbows and roses.

20 years later she was still holding on to this person and was convinced that he was the one that got away. Her days were filled with "what ifs". I could see the anguish on her face. It physically was affecting her. I would try to encourage her either work at repairing what she had with her husband or move on.

A year or so passed without me seeing her or getting to have a conversation more than just pleasantries. When I did see her again she looked fabulous! Like extreme make-over fabulous.
She was different on the outside and inside. After asking our auto-human question of "how are you doing?", she said she was actually doing fantastic. She also volunteered that she and her husband were great and it was like falling in love again.

I just casually replied that her husband must have figured out how to stop making her crazy everyday and we both laughed. Then I seriously questioned what she thought the difference was and she wasn't sure. We went our separate ways for the evening and that was that. It was refreshing to see her so happy.

A few days later Gabbi calls me. Her tone was very serious. She said she could not stop thinking about my question of what the difference had been in their marriage and had her husband finally made the changes she wanted.

I believe this was as much an ah ha moment for her as she told me of the previous year. Gabbi said she was in such an internal turmoil that she finally prayed for God to remove this other person from her marriage. She prayed to have the same belly flies for her husband instead of this past fling.

She made her mind up to commit 100% to her marriage instead of simply the half she had been investing. Gabbi said she came to realize that some of what she was holding on to with this person was more about her life at that time and things she wished she would have done differently.

Gabbi professed "to answer your question, what changed was me. My husband has not changed anything about him. I am the one who changed". She was crying at this point as was I. This was amazing. She said this other person had not even crossed her mind in almost 9 months. This was that moment in life when you realize that your prayer had directly been answered.

I sat there speechless. We've heard about how you can't change other people only yourself. But seeing her change in attitude and her faith in God to restore her marriage brought chills to me.


We can change our attitude about situations and improve them. We will never be able to change someone else, only us. What situation are you in that possibly you making a change instead of the other person could make an improvement?

Until next time- Safe Picking
Tammy

A Devilish Tongue

Words can be one of the most deadliest weapons available. A few words can destroy someones self esteem for life. A few words can plant the seed of doubt and make the most confident person second guess what they know to be true.

The devil can plant these words in the mouths of those all around us, and even those we love and admire. Your closest friend, a family member or even a total stranger can rock your mind if the devil takes over.

I have become a huge fan of Joel Olsteen. I spend much of my time in the car listening to his

broadcast. I love his upbeat and positive teaching of God's word. Like most things in life, when we discover something we love we want to share it with others.

I have told several friends and acquaintances about my secret to changing small things throughout my day that make for a happier life. In sharing, I had one person who questioned if this was the highly criticized pastor that was being ridiculed on the Internet. Another person, after listening a few times, said it was not for them and felt like he was just speaking and not preaching.

It's human nature to want to be accepted. When we love something it is just confirmation of ourselves when other people enjoy those things as well. I found for weeks after hearing these simple comments it changed the way I absorbed his teachings. I started to question what I was listening to. I almost had a feeling like I was being scammed by Joel.

I do want to point out that I ,in no way, think the people behind these comments meant any harm to me. At this point I doubt they would even recall these comments. I believe that was the tongue of the devil that was slipped into a non suspecting soul to derail me from learning more about my most high God.

I was tempted on several occasions to go to the world wide web to find out exactly what Joel was hiding from me. I caught myself being embarrassed for listening to him. You know that feeling when

you are alone and you secretly binge watch episodes of Saved by the Bell? You would be so uncool if someone caught you because that's not what is popular now.

I am not certain of the exact moment that I had an epiphany but I did. It occurred to me that what I was gaining from listening had changed me for the better. I felt closer to God than I had in a long time because of the changes I was making that were inspired by Joel. I was not causing harm to anyone else with my private worship in my car.

So why would I let anything that might be someones opinion on the Internet take that away from me. I knew if I started to look for some dirt I would find some. Lets face it, you can find negative publicity for just about any public figure. Even if there was truth to any of these rumors, I am not in charge of dolling out consequences and punishment.

I made the decision right then that I would continue what I was doing. Those nay sayers  taught me something though. Now I try to identify the source when negativity swarms me and know that the devil is working overtime to put a stop to my time with God.

I also learned that it just as easily could have been me with a devilish tongue that left my audience with a blanket of doubt on them. I know I am not perfect and will lose control of my tongue at some point, but hopefully just being more aware will prevent it from happening too often.

If you are interested in listening to Joel and hearing an inspiring message you can catch him on XM/Sirius channel 128.

If you find that it's not for you, please just change the channel and do not voice your dislike. You never know who is listening around you.

Until nest time- Safe Picking
Tammy

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