Lemons disguised as Bellyflies

I had a friend once tell me that she had bellyflies. As I looked at her wondering if that was something that would take a pill or a suave to cure, she said "you know, butterflies in your belly". The guy she had just met had her all aflutter. We all know that feeling and have had it. It's that feeling of the unknown when you first start to get close to someone. When you start dating someone and when it comes time for that first kiss and your stomach is in knots, but in a good way. You wonder how it's going to feel, are they going to have fresh breath, will they put their hand on the side of your face in that way that makes you melt. Sometimes you get the bellyflies just by them calling and seeing that number pop up on your phone. But these, my friend, all come from not knowing whats going to happen next.

Think about it, do you ever get these with someone you have known for 100 years. No you do not.

No matter how good your marriage is or how strongly rooted it is, you never get those bellyflies again. But bellyflies only last temporarily. It then moves into the next stage which is the warm and fuzzys. This can last forever.

The warm and fuzzys are that feeling of knowing exactly what is going to happen next. When you can finish your spouses' sentences. When you know every step they are going to take when they come home from work. When you can describe their scent in detail and smelling it is like wearing your favorite sweatshirt. These are as exciting as as the bellyflies but these are the glue that hold a marriage together. What some may describe as boring, to the person that just lost their spouse, that is the stuff that dreams are made of.

Now to the point of my lesson today class. I have several people that talk to me, both men and women, about starting to develop feeling for someone else other than their spouse. This is what I explain to them. After years of being with the same person, if someone new comes in and looks at you for just a moment longer than normal, or says that you look really good in that outfit that is 73 yrs old, or seems to think you are just the cat's meow, BEWARE. Before you know it those feelings can get all scrambled and you can start to think the bellyflies are telling you that the grass is greener on the other side. It is so very important to identify that it makes us all feel good to be noticed. We all want to still think we got it. But if you get these two feelings confused, all that you still got can get split right in half at divorce court!

  

If you have those warm and fuzzys with someone now, they are priceless! DO NOT let the lemons that could be disguised as bellyflies threaten that security.

Again thank you so much to those that are reading and following my blog. It would give me bellyflies if you would share my blog on your page and tell everyone you know about it. And, I promise those kind of bellyflies will be harmless to your health.

Until next time- Safe picking!

Tammy

 3.2.2013



A lemon to one person may be a diamond to someone else.

One day last week I was driving to work and was in a great mood and just singing in my off key manner at the top of my lungs. Then truly the thought entered my mind, how in the world can I be so happy when everything is so wrong in my life. I really felt like it was wrong for me to be happy. So, I start to pray about all the things that are so wrong. I talked to God about how stressed I was that my son was in such a terrible place that it makes me physically ill to thing about it. I told Him about my stress of having to switch jobs and learn all this stuff over again. I complained to Him about not losing weight and feeling miserable in my own skin. And most of all, I was just fussing about never having enough money to do the things I wanted to. I promise you, I heard Him out loud say to me "you've got to be kidding me!?"

Then as I listen to what I feel like he was saying to me I began to realize all these things that I was saying were lemons in my life, were diamonds to other people.

What about the couple that has tried for years and can't have children or adopt? Or the couple that had their child die? They would love to to be able to see them no matter how stressful the situation was.

And to your stress about switching jobs, the person who has looked for a new job for a year that would provide great benefits for their family would gladly trade you for your stress of learning something new.

That lady to you that is skinny because she doesn't have enough food to eat would love to have the problem of needing to lose a few pounds due to having too much to eat.

Your complaint about not having enough money was said as you are driving in your nice vehicle that is paid for, wearing your nice clothes and your Coach sunglasses! Seriously?
Needless to say, I finished my drive to work a very humble person. Thanks again God for putting things into perspective for me.
So, next time instead of counting your lemons, count your blessings!
Until next time- Safe picking
Tammy
2.26.2013

Song about lemons

I think everyone has a place they go to that just feels safe. A place where it feels like nothing can harm you. My place is my swinging bridge in Townsend. Since I was a very little girl this has been my favorite place. No matter what the weather is, the sun always shines on my face there.
When things were getting crazy at home, I would go to my bridge and just listen to the water flowing and it was better than pumping Zanax straight into my veins. It was where I got my first kiss from a boy with eyes of blue. It's where I first dealt with death. It's where 90% of my summer was spent.
That leads me into the point of this post. I've always dreamed of writing a song about my bridge because I know this place is special to many, not just me. A yr ago I gave my idea to a song writer in Nashville. This week he contacted me with the first real draft of the song and wanted my input. It's amazing how he kept the meaning of the song true to the background that I have him. Who know what will happen with it. Someday on the radio you may hear a song about a bridge and a boy with eyes of blue.
All the "lemons" in life that have drawn me to this place of solace, could also be the beginning of me realizing my dream of someday writing a song!
Until next time- safe picking
Tammy
1.24.13

Why in the world would you say you are thankful for cancer?

I know you are  shaking you're head thinking I've lost my mind this time. But just be patient with me. My brother Mike was 14 years old when I was born. So needless to say we weren't very close. We never even grew up in the same house together.  Yeah I would see him but it was usually him coming to moms with the family and me being there as a kid. I do remember how excitny it was when he would come because he always made me laugh. The man always had a smile on how face.
In the coming years we had two sisters pass away. They both went suddenly or in a way that there was no opportunity to say the things you needed to.
This brings me to the thankful for cancer part. I in no way am glad for the pain he is having to endure in any way. But in comparison to losing my sisters with no goodbye at all, I'm thankful for the time. I've been given the chance to get to know my brother and talk to him more than ever before.  To get to hear him laugh when I call and ask him if he is ready to go dancing is priceless. The text messages I have from him telling his little sis he loves me will forever be cherished. No, I don't want to lose my brother in any shape form or fashion. But we have been blessed with time to spend with him.
I love you Mike and someday we will dance forever together in Heaven.
Until next time- safe picking
Tammy

Is everyone addicted to something?

Sometimes it feels like everyone has an addiction to something. Hi my name is Tammy and Im a nose spray addict. Yes this is true, I'm not kidding. I panic if I don't have it with me. I would go to about any extreme to get it. I've tried to stop. I've tried the saline stuff and felt like I'd drown before finding relief. To everyone who tells me to just stop I tell them that I will move in with them the first few days and I promise you will be looking for a 24 hour Walgreens to buy my nose junk for me. Needless to say I lose my cherub like demeanor when I can't breath.
Now on to the serious stuff. I am the daughter & ex-wife of an addict and/or alcoholic. There have been times that I wondered if I was so miserable to be around that people had to use just to be around me. I mean I don't have to use to be around me and I'm around me most of the day. I have learned through countless hours of counseling, reading, listening to tapes, researching online, enabling groups, and talking to addicts and doctors that addiction is truly a disease. Just like diabetes or even my epilepsy.  It has to be managed and maintained. An addict can't simply stop because they are upsetting you. I've learned that you can't take things personal. An addict doesn't make a conscience decision to use just to make you mad. Most of the time you are nowhere in the decision at all. These people have been handed a lemon. You just gotta hope they don't make spiked lemonade with them.
I coined a phrase several years ago that I want to share. "Some people are assholes by chemical and some are assholes by nature. The chemical assholes  can stop drinking , smoking or popping but the nature assholes will always be just that. "  My dad is and always will  be the most amazing man in my eyes. He has 24 years clean under his belt and has been an awesome. He has spent everyday since Aug 31, 1988 making up for his mistakes. I am so proud of him.
Have a little compassion when dealing with this disease and remember that it is a disease. Until next time~safe picking

A lemon scented Christmas

So many cleaning supplies are lemon scented. They are designed to clean up something messy and leave a fresh lemony smell. So I guess lemons aren't always bad.

This time of year lots of people are reflecting over past Christmases and what their favorite holiday memories are.

I too, have a favorite childhood memory of Christmas. It was a pair of socks that made my Christmas when I was 16 years old. The socks weren't mine but my dads. See, my dad WAS an alcoholic. For some strange reason when he came home and had been drinking he always took his socks off then put his shoes back on his bare feet. I guess that's where I get my dislike of anything on my feet is from him. I only wear shoes when I'm forced to.

I will never forget that Christmas eve, which is when we opened our gifts, that he came home and had his socks on. Those socks were THE best Christmas gift I have ever received, and still are.That was the first of many wonderful Christmases with my dad. He was been sober now for 26 years and I couldn't be prouder of him. As a matter of fact, I would fight anyone that mistreated him or broke his heart.


In my previous post "Is everyone addicted to something" I talk about a phrase I coined. "some people are asses by nature and some people are asses by chemical" The nature asses can't stop drinking anything to be tolerable. So, like those scented cleaning supplies, not everything that smells like a lemon has to be bad.

I love you daddy!
Until next time- safe picking
Tammy
12.18.2012

I know Jesus turned water into wine, but what can He do with a lemon?

World English Dictionary

faith (feɪθ)
— n
1.	strong or unshakeable belief in something, esp without proof or evidence
2.	a specific system of religious beliefs
3.	Christianity trust in God and in his actions and promises
4.	a conviction of the truth of certain doctrines of religion, esp when this is not based on reason
5.	complete confidence or trust in a person, remedy, etc I was saved as a small child and baptized shortly after. But it was years later when I truly learned the meaning of Faith. About 5 years ago I was on a ski trip with my husband and sitting in a hotel room flipping through the channels. I came across Frederick Price's sermon on Faith. After just a few moments I was on the floor sobbing like a little child counting my many blessings. See, 7 yrs prior to that, I was in the darkest place I had ever been in my life. I had about 5 life changing blows in a 6 month span. I was tired and honestly didn't care if I lived or died. I met a man at my new job who changed me forever. His biblical intelligence was more than anyone I had ever met and still to this day have met. He introduced me to a book titled "How Faith Works" by Frederick Price. The principal of the book is based on Mark 11:22 22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly[a] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. I learned how to pray and ask God for what I needed, but more importantly how to have Faith that He had me covered. I was praying for God to simply take care of me, give me the wisdom to know which path He was leading me and for a Godly man to come into my life. So when I was sitting in that hotel room all those years later and Dr. Price was preaching on Faith, I was overwhelmed with the realization that He had answered all my prayers. I had gotten my happy ending. I never had been without. I has married to an amazing man. He had taken all my lemons and turned them into the most beautiful blessings a girl could ask for. I also learned patience. Our schedule and God doesn't always match. What I think is the best thing for me sometimes is the worst. I now just pray for His will to be done and to have the sight to see it so I don't miss my blessing. There is an old church story about a church  that gathers to pray for rain for their small town that is in the middle of a draught. When the congregation shows up the preacher asked why they didn't have umbrellas if they really had faith that God was going to answer their prayers. God has a plan for each of us. No matter when things are going great or we are in the middle of a life tragedy, He's got this. You just have to have FAITH! Until next time- Safe picking Tammy 12.6.2012