Song about lemons

I think everyone has a place they go to that just feels safe. A place where it feels like nothing can harm you. My place is my swinging bridge in Townsend. Since I was a very little girl this has been my favorite place. No matter what the weather is, the sun always shines on my face there.
When things were getting crazy at home, I would go to my bridge and just listen to the water flowing and it was better than pumping Zanax straight into my veins. It was where I got my first kiss from a boy with eyes of blue. It's where I first dealt with death. It's where 90% of my summer was spent.
That leads me into the point of this post. I've always dreamed of writing a song about my bridge because I know this place is special to many, not just me. A yr ago I gave my idea to a song writer in Nashville. This week he contacted me with the first real draft of the song and wanted my input. It's amazing how he kept the meaning of the song true to the background that I have him. Who know what will happen with it. Someday on the radio you may hear a song about a bridge and a boy with eyes of blue.
All the "lemons" in life that have drawn me to this place of solace, could also be the beginning of me realizing my dream of someday writing a song!
Until next time- safe picking
Tammy
1.24.13

Why in the world would you say you are thankful for cancer?

I know you are  shaking you're head thinking I've lost my mind this time. But just be patient with me. My brother Mike was 14 years old when I was born. So needless to say we weren't very close. We never even grew up in the same house together.  Yeah I would see him but it was usually him coming to moms with the family and me being there as a kid. I do remember how excitny it was when he would come because he always made me laugh. The man always had a smile on how face.
In the coming years we had two sisters pass away. They both went suddenly or in a way that there was no opportunity to say the things you needed to.
This brings me to the thankful for cancer part. I in no way am glad for the pain he is having to endure in any way. But in comparison to losing my sisters with no goodbye at all, I'm thankful for the time. I've been given the chance to get to know my brother and talk to him more than ever before.  To get to hear him laugh when I call and ask him if he is ready to go dancing is priceless. The text messages I have from him telling his little sis he loves me will forever be cherished. No, I don't want to lose my brother in any shape form or fashion. But we have been blessed with time to spend with him.
I love you Mike and someday we will dance forever together in Heaven.
Until next time- safe picking
Tammy

Is everyone addicted to something?

Sometimes it feels like everyone has an addiction to something. Hi my name is Tammy and Im a nose spray addict. Yes this is true, I'm not kidding. I panic if I don't have it with me. I would go to about any extreme to get it. I've tried to stop. I've tried the saline stuff and felt like I'd drown before finding relief. To everyone who tells me to just stop I tell them that I will move in with them the first few days and I promise you will be looking for a 24 hour Walgreens to buy my nose junk for me. Needless to say I lose my cherub like demeanor when I can't breath.
Now on to the serious stuff. I am the daughter & ex-wife of an addict and/or alcoholic. There have been times that I wondered if I was so miserable to be around that people had to use just to be around me. I mean I don't have to use to be around me and I'm around me most of the day. I have learned through countless hours of counseling, reading, listening to tapes, researching online, enabling groups, and talking to addicts and doctors that addiction is truly a disease. Just like diabetes or even my epilepsy.  It has to be managed and maintained. An addict can't simply stop because they are upsetting you. I've learned that you can't take things personal. An addict doesn't make a conscience decision to use just to make you mad. Most of the time you are nowhere in the decision at all. These people have been handed a lemon. You just gotta hope they don't make spiked lemonade with them.
I coined a phrase several years ago that I want to share. "Some people are assholes by chemical and some are assholes by nature. The chemical assholes  can stop drinking , smoking or popping but the nature assholes will always be just that. "  My dad is and always will  be the most amazing man in my eyes. He has 24 years clean under his belt and has been an awesome. He has spent everyday since Aug 31, 1988 making up for his mistakes. I am so proud of him.
Have a little compassion when dealing with this disease and remember that it is a disease. Until next time~safe picking

A lemon scented Christmas

So many cleaning supplies are lemon scented. They are designed to clean up something messy and leave a fresh lemony smell. So I guess lemons aren't always bad.

This time of year lots of people are reflecting over past Christmases and what their favorite holiday memories are.

I too, have a favorite childhood memory of Christmas. It was a pair of socks that made my Christmas when I was 16 years old. The socks weren't mine but my dads. See, my dad WAS an alcoholic. For some strange reason when he came home and had been drinking he always took his socks off then put his shoes back on his bare feet. I guess that's where I get my dislike of anything on my feet is from him. I only wear shoes when I'm forced to.

I will never forget that Christmas eve, which is when we opened our gifts, that he came home and had his socks on. Those socks were THE best Christmas gift I have ever received, and still are.That was the first of many wonderful Christmases with my dad. He was been sober now for 26 years and I couldn't be prouder of him. As a matter of fact, I would fight anyone that mistreated him or broke his heart.


In my previous post "Is everyone addicted to something" I talk about a phrase I coined. "some people are asses by nature and some people are asses by chemical" The nature asses can't stop drinking anything to be tolerable. So, like those scented cleaning supplies, not everything that smells like a lemon has to be bad.

I love you daddy!
Until next time- safe picking
Tammy
12.18.2012

I know Jesus turned water into wine, but what can He do with a lemon?

World English Dictionary

faith (feɪθ)
— n
1.	strong or unshakeable belief in something, esp without proof or evidence
2.	a specific system of religious beliefs
3.	Christianity trust in God and in his actions and promises
4.	a conviction of the truth of certain doctrines of religion, esp when this is not based on reason
5.	complete confidence or trust in a person, remedy, etc I was saved as a small child and baptized shortly after. But it was years later when I truly learned the meaning of Faith. About 5 years ago I was on a ski trip with my husband and sitting in a hotel room flipping through the channels. I came across Frederick Price's sermon on Faith. After just a few moments I was on the floor sobbing like a little child counting my many blessings. See, 7 yrs prior to that, I was in the darkest place I had ever been in my life. I had about 5 life changing blows in a 6 month span. I was tired and honestly didn't care if I lived or died. I met a man at my new job who changed me forever. His biblical intelligence was more than anyone I had ever met and still to this day have met. He introduced me to a book titled "How Faith Works" by Frederick Price. The principal of the book is based on Mark 11:22 22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly[a] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. I learned how to pray and ask God for what I needed, but more importantly how to have Faith that He had me covered. I was praying for God to simply take care of me, give me the wisdom to know which path He was leading me and for a Godly man to come into my life. So when I was sitting in that hotel room all those years later and Dr. Price was preaching on Faith, I was overwhelmed with the realization that He had answered all my prayers. I had gotten my happy ending. I never had been without. I has married to an amazing man. He had taken all my lemons and turned them into the most beautiful blessings a girl could ask for. I also learned patience. Our schedule and God doesn't always match. What I think is the best thing for me sometimes is the worst. I now just pray for His will to be done and to have the sight to see it so I don't miss my blessing. There is an old church story about a church  that gathers to pray for rain for their small town that is in the middle of a draught. When the congregation shows up the preacher asked why they didn't have umbrellas if they really had faith that God was going to answer their prayers. God has a plan for each of us. No matter when things are going great or we are in the middle of a life tragedy, He's got this. You just have to have FAITH! Until next time- Safe picking Tammy 12.6.2012

A lemon is a lemon, no matter how you got it

 

All of my post are about a something that I have experienced. However, this one is about someone that I love very dearly.

 

I have found that talking about homelessness can strike a cord just like religion and politics can. There are some that I've learned to just stay away from the subject. I feel that most people are so close minded about it. They should "just get a job" or "they chose to smoke the crack that put them there".

 

Everyone has a story in life. All of us have a beginning and a middle that led us to where we are now. And not every ones story is as rosy as most. There are definitely people who were handed the lemon that landed them on the streets. Many are mentally ill, abused women or war veterans that just never found their place back in society.

 

 

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

 

Several years ago I started something called Operation Homeless Bags. A group of my friends, instead of exchanging Christmas gifts, put our money into stuffing these huge ziploc bags with things like gloves, water, chapstick, paper and envelopes with stamps, crackers, prayer cards, etc., and gave to the home less shelter.

 

I have continued this tradition with help from donators and volunteers. 

 

 

 

 

 

Last winter I was meeting my son, who was homeless at that time, to give him food, water and blankets. When I got the blanket from my backseat I saw the corner of one of those ziploc bags. My work I was doing for total strangers had come full circle and I gave that last bag to my son. Talk about having your heart ripped from your chest.

 

When you see these people you don't have to give them money. Give them food or carry a bag of snacks in your car for them. But most importantly just give them a smile and remind them that God loves them. They are just as important in His eyes as we are. I now try to give them something, even if it's my lunch I brought.

 

^{Matthew 25:40} “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

 

HOW MANY OF US ARE 1 OR 2 PAYCHECKS AWAY FROM BEING THERE WITH THEM?

 

If you would like to donate by cash or by giving items to Operation Homeless Bags please email  me at tompatam@gmail.com

 

Thanks so much to all the wonderful people who have donated already and are helping me grow my little grass roots project.

 

Until next time- Safe picking

 

Tammy

 

 

 

 

So you were handed a lemon.....

By now your probably getting the jest of figuring out the difference between being handed a lemon or picking a lemon yourself. But the thing to learn is when you are handed a lemon to put into perspective just how big your lemon is.

I know I'm the worst for dealing with things like my son going to prison or my brother dying of cancer and almost being mad at the rest of the world for it. "How can everyone just go about their day? Do they not understand my world is crashing down. They shouldn't be laughing". I admit, some days I felt like that.

But then one day this horrific tragedy happened. I did not know the lady personally but did remember her from high school. For the blogs purpose we'll call her Queen Chiquita. I was just stunned by all the details that came out about how this woman lost her husband in this fiery crash, due to someone who was high on drugs. I just could not stop thinking about it. I sent her an email and tried to come up with any kind of words, as a lot of us did. In the following weeks, the emails exchanged with this amazing lady were truly a blessing to me. Every time I started to feel sorry for myself, I always thought of her. Not only in the sense of the level of her tragedy but how she handled it. I've learned so much from this woman, who is truly after God's own heart, and I haven't even met her yet.

She says she is a mess, but what a beautiful mess she is. No one expects her to be anything other for right now and a long time to come. But, in a sense, she has become a huge fan of mine and loves the blogs. Most days when I write, it's because I have her in mind and know that for the few minutes she is reading, maybe I can take her somewhere other than this nightmare she's in.

With my son, he's alive and someday will be coming home. I have an awesome husband, even though there are days I want to stab him. My brother is dying, but I've been given notice so I can make the most of my time with him. There are issues at work, but I have a job.

Thank you Queen Chiquita for just how much you have blessed so many around you just by being open with your story. I look forward to meeting you in person someday soon.

Thanks for reading

Until next time- safe picking

Tammy

Oh, by the way. On the right side of the blog you can become one of my followers. I now have 12 countries reading but would love to know who some of you are.