Living an Unscripted Life

In a world of reality television vs. scripted television we all know the difference. So many times with TV shows and movies we know what the next line is going to be. We know what the actor is going to say or how the plot is going to turn. 

I have thought many times about how scripted or predictable people can be, or rather their words can be. When a shooter randomly kills 5 people, the shooter's friends and neighbor "never expected he would would do anything like this. He was always polite and quiet". 

When a crime happens the newscasters always tell us that "the incident is still under investigation" or "is ongoing". 

When we have a love one die, our friends tell us that "we are in their thoughts and prayers" or "they are in a better place". Which by the way, I wonder how many of those people actually stop and truly say a prayer for the others. 

Or when your son goes to prison, you are told that "maybe this is what's best for him". 

When we get a promotion, a new car, new house, or take that elaborate vacation, we "have been blessed to have these things". 

I have always been envious of people who have the perfect condolence, greeting or response to any situation. I find myself reading post comments on Facebook looking for these unique folks. 

Instead of falling into the Stepford wives greeting camp, I am striving to be unique in my personality and my words. I want to be the one who has something truly meaningful to say. Something so that the recipient feels that personal connection with me, not that I just hit the quick reply option on my cellphone. 

God created us all in His image. We were not designed to be the same. So why should we walk, talk and act the same.

I challenge you to love who you are enough that you are going doing and being different than most of the robot population that roams the earth. 

To help you with this I am including some clever and unique responses to some of life's situations. 

Courtesy of wishesquotes.com 

Condolences for a death:

• We are sorry for your loss. (NAME), was such a great person, (HE/SHE) will live on in our memories forever.

• May the memories of (NAME) help you find peace.

• "What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us." -Helen Keller

Happy Birthday! 

•  Happy Birthday! This is the oldest I’ve ever known you, and you look great for your age.

• May your blessings always exceed your age. Enjoy your birthday, and may you have many more to come.
  

• May calm seas and bright sunshine define the rest of your voyage. Happy Birthday and may there be many more to come!

Get Well Wishes

Get well soon, my friend. Your absence makes me sad and I long to see you feeling better. Get well quickly because you are missed by so many. Take good care, take time to heal and know that many are praying for your speedy recovery.

I miss you so much and so does everyone else. We all miss you and wish you a speedy recovery. We especially miss your humor and your kindness. Take care and know that we are eagerly awaiting your return.

I just heard about your illness and I want you to know that I miss you and will be praying for your speedy recovery. Being ill is no fun; that is for sure. So, take time to heal and know how much I and so many others miss you.

So sorry to hear that you’re not feeling well; just heard about your illness last night. I, along with everyone here, send their best wishes and prayers to you. We all wish you a speedy recovery. Follow your doctor’s wishes and before you know it, you’ll be in fine form!

Everyone here is thinking about you while you are in the hospital and recovering from your illness. We want you to know how much we miss you and long for your return. Best wishes we send to you for a quick recovery. God Bless!

Birth of a Child

• Having a new baby changes a wife and husband into a mommy and daddy. As you venture into parenthood together, you will become wiser and more mature, while finding a new profound love for the amazing baby you have produced. Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

• May your new bundle of joy bring happiness into your life and fill a void in your heart. Take pride in loving and raising your little miracle. I know you will be the best dad you can possibly be.

Engagement

I hope you enjoy all of the pleasures that togetherness brings in life. May your life hereafter be filled with happiness and delights. Good luck on the days to come.

Heartfelt congratulations on your marriage. May your bond last forever, and should it ever change, may it change to a firmer and better one.

Wishing you many more days as happy as this one, many more occasions for celebration, and a lifetime of love and laughter.

Blessings to the happy couple! May your commitment deepen, your joy increase, and your love grow stronger from this day forward.

This momentous occasion marks the start of your life together. May the journey be a happy one filled with peace and harmony, joy and laughter, and romance and passion. May your enduring love be the crown jewel that ties together all the rest. Best wishes!

There are literally 1000's of greeting online if you simply take a moment and Google them.

Even when you are in the office and you see someone with a new hairstyle, instead of the typical "your hair looks pretty" try something more unique like "your new hairstyle is really flattering on you".  Instead of just our everyday compliment of "you look pretty today" change it up a bit with "you are absolutely glowing today".

We never know what our words mean to someone so choose them wisely. Your moment of noticing that person may be the only time anyone does. Make it count by making your words count!

Until next time- Safe Picking!

Tammy

 

Death By Elastic

There are things in life that will try to kill you. Cancer, ISIS, black widow spiders, cottonmouth snakes,waist slimmers, running marathons.....wait a minute,waist slimmers? Huh, what are you talking about? Well I am going to tell you a mostly true story about how one tried to kill me last week.

That innocent little G popped up on my phone notification alerting me to that day's Groupon special. Ah, a waist slimmer. Not a tank top and not the slimming shorts, just a little extra support around the middle. Easy enough. So I made my purchase and waited patiently for my miracle belt to arrive.

It made it here on Wednesday, the day before a very important appointment that my husband and I had. Fantastic! I can try it tomorrow.

Thursday comes and I shower and take extra time with my hair and make-up. Remember, it's a big day. So, I give my husband that final 10 minute notice that I will be ready to go.

Then I remember my little something something that is going to change my life. As I'm going into the bathroom I do remember to take a pair of scissors with me to cut the tag off. I'm so smart that I knew I couldn't cut it off the back if it did happen to be a little snug. Bahaha.

I was realistic when ordering this and bought an XL because these things tend to run small. By the way, if you have to order a small or medium, YOU DON"T NEED ONE!

So when I hold it up to my waist it looks more like a thigh slimmer. It barely covers my navel and is a good 2 inches shy on each side.

I tell myself that it stretches and it,s OK.  So I choose to step into it instead of pulling it over my head. Thank goodness for that decision. I can't imagine how the other way would have gone. So, just above my knees I start to see there is going to be problem.

I tried spreading my legs as far apart as I could to stretch it out but it had as much give as what I give to Puppy Haters of America, NONE. I keep pulling and tugging until the top of it is at about my hips. At this point I look like a can of biscuit popping out of the can.

But I push on, I have to walk out of here looking like a super model for my husband this morning. I talk a deep breath, suck in my belly and pull with all my might. And break 2 nails. Ripped them right off. $%*&#  So now I have to either get into or out of this thing AND fix 2 broken nails. I am convinced that this contraption could make mother Theresa say a 4 letter word and flip off a priest.

Is 9 am too early for tequila? But that would we require me to leave this bathroom to get it and there are some things in life that just can't be unseen. This would traumatize my husband for life.

By now I'm sweating and my make up is running. The baby powder is mixing with the sweat and making a nice pasted and/or grout. But I am not giving up! One more pull and it's in place.

Yes, my waist is smaller, but everything that is missing from my mid-section is now a nice roll around my rib cage and 2 rolls around my hips. I'm fighting back tears with everything I have now. Today is suppose to be perfect!


My hair that I spent so much time on now looks like I combed it with a blender and sweat is trickling down between my boobs and rolling down between the cheeks of my butt that are plastered together.

I make the decision to abandon ship and write it off as a lesson learned. BUT, I still had to get out of this. If I pull from the bottom it just stretched down further. So, I started working my way down from the top. Mistake! It began to roll down my belly on its own, When it got to my panties, it rolled them up in it, in turn giving me THE worst wedge I've ever had in my life.


 It's time for my husband to start banging on the door saying we need to leave. I truly told God that if there was ever a time for Him to help me out He would not let my husband come through that door. So, I have this thing equal to a boa constrictor around my waist and creeping into places that no gynecologist has ever gone and I have no idea how to escape.

That's when the see the scissors. Hallelujah!  Yes, I cut my miracle waist slimmer and my panties off of me and saved my own life.

When my heart rate finally slowed to a normal level I decided right then and there that Jesus made me with this body and I would never again torture myself trying to alter it with another "As Seen on TV" product again!

My lemon may be bigger than some others but this is how He designed me and I am trying to be more accepting of it.

I made it out the door and hubby had no clue of what transpired behind that door between me and elastic torture chamber.

Until next time-Safe Picking
Tammy

Learning from the Disappointment of others



Disappointment is when you step on the scales in the morning expecting that you have lost a pound and instead gained a 1/2 a pound. Disappointment is when that adorable little skirt makes you look like Rebel Wilson once you get it home. Disappointment is when you realize that the check you received in the mail for 1.5 million is not legit.



Occasionally something or someone will disappoint you on a level that is deep in your bones like a disease eating through you.

I experienced that kind of disappointment a while back. Someone that I thought highly of was exposed of some things that shocked me to my core. When you learn something that changes what you believed to be true in an instance, it can make you question everything.

I could not get this out of my mind. For days it was all I thought about. How could I not see their true colors? How was I so far off the scales on my reading of this person and for so long?



Then my sincere self starts to wonder if I am being hypocritical.  Is the anything that I am doing, that if I were to be completely transparent, that would leave others being disappointed in the real me? I don't think there is. Rather, I hope there isn't.


But my heartbreak and over this new found knowledge, made me realize that I NEVER want anyone to feel this kind of disappointment in anything they learned about me.

Even though I, apparently, have been looking at this person with rose colored glasses, I am choosing to learn from this .  I want to live the kind of life that would never make anyone question my motives or true intentions.



If we can learn from others peoples mistakes, or lemons, hopefully we can live a more prosperous life without having to learn the hard way.

Until next time-Safe Picking!

Tammy

What makes the Difference?

Several months ago I came out of a store to get in my car. This old Probe was parked beside me. It is not completely clear from the picture just how bad of shape this car was in. You can see that one of the headlights looks like a lazy eye. There were dents all over it and paint chipping in numerous places. Both windows were down and there actually was an odor coming from inside. Obviously the owner knew there was nothing of value inside to be stolen by leaving the windows down.

I sat there for a minute in my nice, clean, newer car thinking about this car and the story behind the driver. I never saw the them but I was curious about them. On one sunny day in this parking lot, what had been different about my life and theirs that lead us to be driving away in two totally different vehicles?

I wonder if it was a difference in many generations that brought each of us to this place. Was it a difference in our upbringing that that made us aspire for such different things? I don't think so. I grew up in a very volatile household without encouragement. It wasn't that I had parents who taught me the value in going to college to make something of yourself. Taking care of your things or working hard for nice things was never a lesson I was taught.

 

 

So, what makes the difference? If things are as I would just assume for this driver, it probably was not very different than what I experienced. So does that mean that some people are just strong enough to overcome their past while others just repeat it? Is it a matter of work ethic? I don't think that either. There are many blue collar workers who put in many more hours at harder labor that I do everyday. Is it self esteem and not feeling like you deserve better?  I really do not know the answer.

I have thought about this mystery driver many times. I am not certain why they made such an impact on me, but they did. I understand that having a nicer car does not make anyone a better person. I am only speaking about the difference of wanting to take care of yourself and what you have. For all I know, this driver could be the person who someday finds the cure for cancer. But on this one day, what made it acceptable for them to have that life?

I know I do believe that it is possible to break the mold and get past the past. The cycle does not have to repeat itself. Sometimes when no one else does it for us, we have to be our own cheerleader and encourage ourselves to do and be a better person.    

Again, I'm lost on the answer it this. It was just interesting to me. Please feel free to comment. I would love to know other peoples thoughts on this.

Until next time-Safe Picking.

Tammy

Don't they know they aren't suppose to be that happy?

Have you ever seen someone that is either down their luck, have a disability or even very obese and think "man their life must be no fun". I think a lot of us have been guilty of that at some point or another. We all have this perception of what a great life looks like.

A great life is someone who is in excellent shape with ripped abs. They make a boat load of money and never have a days worth of stress about how to pay for something. They have the 2.5 kids, an SUV and the white picket fence and live on Wisteria Lane.

They are completely healthy, and have no physical impairments. Their beautiful children are on the honor roll and soccer champs. Of course we think these people should be smiling and dancing all the time. They have no lemons in their lives, right?

I watched a video from YouTube of this obese man doing a Zumba class in a Speedo and it has inspired me. For the few minutes that video played I was so jealous of the self confidence, or either his "I don't  care what people think" attitude.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DMF5jDhmkI

This man, who some might think has a lesser quality of life due to his size, could teach us all a lesson. When you see someone who is just enjoying being alive, no matter their situation, it is uplifting. I think if they can smile like that given obstacles they have why can't I?

Tyler is a friend of mine on Facebook. This young man has more life in his pinkie than most of us do in our whole bodies. I always look forward to his post because I know they will make me smile. I believe his social calendar would probably put my to shame by looking at his photos. He is having way more fun than I am.  I think we could all learn a lesson from this guy about being happy with what we have, be it a lemon or not. Tyler, you are the man! Keep on shining!

We all have different opinions on what makes life great. Sometimes you will come across that person that you may think has nothing to smile about. In fact,  they may be smiling because they think their life is so much better than yours.

Here are a few more just to make you smile
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-67Xt5R8DY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBWEzt2U9RQ

Until next time- give the world your best smile and safe picking!

Tammy

Fakebook Fasting



How many times a day do you check your Facebook, Instagram or other social media accounts? Do you wake up in the middle of the night and check it while you're lying awake? How often are you in a room with family or friends and your face is glued to your phone?

I will sit down to glance at it for a few minutes and 45 minutes later I am so side tracked that I am watching videos of blue monkeys in tutus.

A few nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night, of course reached for my phone, and started to scroll through the newsfeed. I knew there wouldn't be very much new news since I had just caught up a few hours before. After about 20 minutes I put it away and tried to go back to sleep.

I noticed that my heart rate had increased and my mind was racing from one story or another that I had just read. See, I have determined that Facebook is a source of great anxiety for me. I'm being completely transparent when I tell you this. Exposing some very raw details about me.



As I look at all the stories, the bad angel (I'll call him Jones, due to keeping up with the Jones') starts to speak to me in that very degrading voice. I try to ignore him but it's always there. I absolutely love seeing everyone's photos of the snow, Christmas, Mother's Day, vacation and so on. But this voice inside is always asking things like; How does she stay that slim with 4 children, I can't and I've never given birth. How do they afford a home like that with her staying at home? I have to work full time do not have those extras. It must be wonderful to have a family that is still so close and celebrates together. Why can't my family be that close? He is loving the time with his grandchildren when I can't even see mine. Why did God not chose the path for me where I would have given birth to my own child? It goes on and on. So several times a day I am comparing myself to others and I always come up short.



I truly understand the old saying "fake it til you make it". I think that's what most people on these social media sights are doing. You get the perfect posed family photos, pictures all their stuff with a caption of how blessed they are (humble bragging), and a million other things that are only surface photos.



You never see the side of people struggling with drug addiction, depression, infidelity, loss of jobs, sickness etc. It occurred to me that I am comparing myself to people like someone I knew who appeared to have the beautiful life, big house, gorgeous body. But, they had contacted me to find out how to get into their spouses phone because they had caught them cheating less than year into their marriage.



There is so much time that goes into looking like we have a fabulous life instead of just simply living a fabulous life! That's when I decided that I am doing a month long fast from Facebook and other social media. I am going to focus on my fabulous life and making it better than beating myself up for what I don't have and trying to convince everyone else.



Another reason I am concerned about the focus on these things in our lives is I have noticed a dramatic decline in actual human interaction. Why should we meet up with our friends, we can have girls night from our couches now. A close group of friends of mine used to meet for dinner every other Friday night for years. Now if we see each other 3 times a year it's an accomplishment. It seems that we know what is going on through Facebook so there is no need for the real, human, face to face relationship anymore. That's saddens me.

We determine ourselves what is great for us and no one does. I do have a fantastic life and I am not going to let that be sidestepped anymore.

For the next month, instead of 20 minutes here and there on my phone, I plan to use that time to organize a closet, talk to my husband, go for a walk, actually call a friend on the phone. I am removing the apps for these sites from my phone and tablet. I will not receive any notifications or alerts. I still have my accounts I'm just not going to be accessing them.

Those few stolen moments here and there, I plan to use to catch up with what Matthew, Mark John and Luke are up to. Hopefully create the kind of excitement that makes me want to spend a few minutes with God instead of watching yet another video of someone falling (Yes I love those).

I am just using this as an experiment to see what is possible by removing any outside negative forces that I can. I challenge all of you to limit your social media time and see what else you can replace it with for 1 month.

I appreciate all who share my blog and sincerely thank you for it. In the meantime I can be emailed at tomaptam@gmail.com if you need me.

Until next time-Safe Picking! 

A blessing in Life and Death

 I have many "generations friends". I call them that because I have met them through my friends, then meet their friends and before long it's hard to remember where the friendship first started. One of my generation friends is Lisa.

Lisa lost her mom this week unfortunately. Last night I went with another friend of ours to her mom's service. We all have attended many of these over the years. I never know what to say. I really struggle with keeping my wise cracking side under wraps because that's how I make people smile. Not very appropriate at a funeral.

In going into this, I don't expect it to be much different than any other that I have been to. We go through the line, pay our respects, smile that closed "I'm sorry" smile and move on.

When we were seated and time for the service to began, they took the immediate family out. I imagine for a private prayer. Then the entire family enters at the same time from the back. I was overwhelmed at the size of her family. Sue, Lisa's mom, had so many close people that loved her.

Due to a deaf brother, there was a lady who signed the entire service, music and all. This was breathtakingly beautiful! I thought this is going to be different.

When two of Sue's friends started to eulogize her,  I KNEW something was going to change in me. Any of us could write most of what you typically hear at a funeral without even knowing the deceased. But, this was different. To paraphrase, Sue was a very vibrant 80 year old who still had a work ethic most of us lack. She was known for her passion of volunteering. She loved sports and evidently was still very competitive.

Outspoken, she would speak her mind. It was said that she loved those around her so deeply that she thought you deserved to know her opinion.

I sat there absolutely engrossed learning about this woman I had never laid eyes on. I felt heartbroken that I had missed the opportunity I know her in life and was only getting to meet her in her death.

Going into last night, I was having a bad day. One of those "poor pitiful me days". At that moment I decided that I wanted to live the Life of Sue. I want to be the kind of person that is remembered the way so many will her. I want a life focused on God and on others. I want to be known as passionate and caring.

I truly wish I had met her only once. So between the beautiful music, the graceful signing and the ah ha moment, I walked out of there a different person.

Thank you Lisa and your whole family for sharing her with me for just a moment and with the world for her lifetime. Last night was a beautiful night.

What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? I would be honored to have someone say that I led The Life of Sue.

Until next time- safe picking.