Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Lemon Fruit Salad


So what if the day comes and you do indeed decide that you picked a lemon and do depart with it?
What happens if you made little ones together? You have to find a way to allow the lemon to still survive on this here "planet earth", as Phil Robertson would say. Because exes aren't suppose to get along after it's over, right?
Isn't it true that, after a divorce, you, your friends, family and everyone you've ever known have to pick a side and can not cross that line without the penalty of death?

As fruity as my family is, we have always been very open to still include any exes long after the love has ended. This just makes for a much better situation for the children. My ex has spent many Christmas with us and my son is 25. Sometimes it is just easier due to not having to run all over the planet.
 
 
Now, just to cover the bases, if your significant other is spending Easter in the Hampton's with their ex and they don't have children or a multi-million dollar business they are running, it's time to fire up the incinerator.
 
Sometimes we just have to add lemon to our fruit family salad, and that's ok.
 
 
Until next time- safe picking
 
Tammy

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Lemonade Wine- A Love Story



This story is inspired by something I have been so blessed to be part of. I just have to share this because I have been so moved by what I have seen. God is writing the love story of a friend of mine and it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen right before my eyes. This friend of mine has felt comfortable enough to share some intimate details of the end of a marriage and what led up to it with me. But, they have also shared with me how, about a month ago, that the Lord has taken hold of their heart and will not let go.

The story begins like so many do with the belly flies and love twinkling in a young couples eyes. After years of life just getting in the way, distance begins to grow and things start to deteriorate. We'll call them Marshall Dillion and Miss Kitty for the blogs purpose. When the end of the beginning started Miss Kitty would do anything to save her marriage. Marshall, after years of taking her for granted and ignoring her needs, was just letting their marriage slip through his fingers. I guess like the old saying "you don't know what you've got til its gone".

But eventually Miss Kitty came to terms with the end of her life as she had known it the last several years and started to embrace a new, single life. This is where God said, "not so fast, I got more plans for this couple".  As the final day starts approaching Marshall is starting to finally realize just how much he loves Miss Kitty and what a mistake he is making. God is tugging on those heart strings like crazy. As an outsider, I'm watching this happen. I truly feel it's not just one of those, "I'm in trouble so I'm turning to religion to fix it" kind of things. I think Marshall's heart is truly changed with or without Miss Kitty. Whats really happened is that Marshall has realized that he was her lemon. He knows all the mistakes he's made and is ready to remedy them.

I would guess that Miss Kitty would be feeling like she picked a lemon with Marshall. But what if this situation is reversed. What if the lemon you thought you picked was really just a grape that needed time to become that succulent glass of wine that you had always craved?



This has been like watching a movie and waiting to get to the happy ending. But no matter how this story ends, just watching this person grown closer to God has been such a blessing to me. The world is on Marshall's shoulders right now but someday he will be able to see that God is the one writing his love story. Maybe Miss Kitty will be able to see that her lemon was well worth the wait for it to turn into something beautiful.

Until Next time- if you did pick a lemon say a little prayer that it will become a devine wine grape

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcyuqv_clay-walker-this-woman-and-this-man_music

Tammy

oh and Marshall, we all deserve to have someone "love the shit out of us"

Friday, October 26, 2012

His Needs HER Needs, part 2


I promised that I would get to the ladies blog about getting what we want. Going back to the book I referenced in the "one for the guys" blog titled His Needs, Her Needs the first thing he says that a woman needs is someone to listen.

Here's a little parable; A while back I called one of my managers about some frustrations I was having at work. I lite into him with everything from our hours to money to messiness to low tire pressure to night sweats and cellulite. After about 5 non stop minutes of me ranting, there was silence. Finally when we could muster up some courage he said" Tammy what do I need to do to fix this for you". Wrong! I replied "Mr. (Carlos) do you not know anything about women? I don't need you to fix anything I just wanted you to listen!" Men, majority of the time we just need you to listen and simply respond with " man that's gotta suck!". End of story.



Another thing he says that is important is having a man that can take care of us. I know women are all liberated these days and fighting for equal rights but I think when it comes down to it we wanna know our man can provide for us IF we needed him to.

If men would only realize that not only affection, but how little of it that it takes, will carry them a very long way. Women need to be touched and hugged and kissed and winked at. Those little small things will make most of us go to the moon and back for our man. Some where along the way a nasty rumor must have started that said if they slapped us on the behind when we were bent over that it turned our crank. Not so much.

 Everytime that our man doesn't fill these needs for us and another man takes the time to listen to us, or tells us that we look pretty, someone else is starting to make deposits into our love banks. Multiple depositors will ALWAYS lead to trouble.

Men I promise if you will do these small things for your lady you will get it back tenfold! So I guess if you picked a non-affectionate, no PDA kind of lemon, you have to just accept it or teach him how to treat you!

Until next time- Safe picking!

Tammy



Saturday, October 20, 2012

Is dysfunctional your normal?

 
Ah, Honey Boo Boo! I understand that so many watch these types of shows or rather shake their heads at these shows in disgust and utter disappointment. I choose to have some compassion for things like these. I guess coming from a very dysfunctional family I know the struggle it is to overcome and not repeat the past. I would bet my right arm that this lovely June (momma) probably did not come from a thorough bred family where they had tea and crumpets on the south lawn every Saturday afternoon. I would imagine that June probably came from a family just like she is raising now herself. Most of the time these types of situation occur just because people don't know any different. That's how they were raise and that's all they know. I'm sure June thinks she's showing Honey the love with her butter and ketchup concoction she makes for her because it makes Honey smile.
 
Another example, I know a family that has 4 generations of women living in one trailer. All unmarried and still having babies. This is a perfect scenario of the past repeating itself. But they do not know anything different.
 
I guess if you come from dysfunctional you have to be able to recognize, (or maybe redneckonize), and make the choice to not let it affect your future. I hear all the time that "I had a bad childhood" or "my parents were not loving". You have to see these things and change or you will just be passing these on to your young'ins.
 
 
Take Lindsey Lohan, if you listen to her mother Deena for more than 5 mins you want to hurl yourself in front of a bus. But if you can endure her for more than 5 mins you will learn that she is just repeating what she knows and has pass that onto Lindsey.
 
I heard a very profound statement once. Listen close cause this is good, "Cause someone doesn't love you the way you want doesn't mean they aren't loving you with the best that they have" pause for chill bumps
 
So stop blaming your parents! They did the best that they know how. They may have been just duplicating their childhood. But, you can break the cycle.
 
 Also, when you see these families and are quick to pass judgement and want to call them trash or rednecks or whatever, just remember, they are only doing the things they know. If they had your childhood then they would act more like you.

The best revenge when you have been wronged is to not let it affect your future. If you didn't feel loved as a child, smother your children with love. If you were yelled at all the time, remember how that felt before you start to yell.

Mark 12:31 ESV /    

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

So that dysfunctional lemon that was handed to you can be squashed immediately and save future generations a lot of suffering.

Again, thanks for reading and until next time- Safe Picking!

TT

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Step away from the infomercial and drop the credit card.


Help! I'm broke and can't buy baby food!

If you find yourself standing in line at the utility board waiting to make some payment arrangement because you have no money, maybe it's time to take a hard look at your spending habits.

I can say this because I am an "as seen on TV" junkie. I've spent money I didn't have on everything from Sensa to steam cleaners, to pipe snakes, to genie bras and creams to make me look like I'm 12 again.


I learned the very hard way that no one will feel sorry for me when I have no money but am toting the newest Michael Kors purse. Maybe it's time to back away from the TV and have someone you trust kidnap your MasterCard.




There comes a point in our adult lives that we have to become an adult and make better choices with what we have.

Matthew 25:21

New International Version (NIV)
 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

So if you are struggling with your finances but have a closet full of fabulous shoes, maybe just maybe, you picked yourself a green dollar lemon!

Until next time- safe picking!

Tammy
10.17.2012

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Non-Parents giving parental advice





I really hope of all my post that today's will be the one to truly save someones life. I'm speaking about those who love to give advice on child rearing when they haven't so much as raised a hamster on their own. I believe that having children is an experience that just can't be described to you non-kid people. Even if you have nieces and nephews you adore there is still no comparison.

There have been many times when, in a conversation with a non-kid person, that you might notice me getting this glazed over look. If you are around you may want to step back. In my mind I am usually fantasizing about stabbing them in the eye with a plastic fork or locking them in a porta potty and setting it on fire then pushing it down a hill.

I'm sure after some time of being married or having children that a single person or non-kid person could have an instance of something that we couldn't understand. That's ok. Just please, please, please DO NOT give advice about a subject that you truly know nothing about.

Lemons- so I guess if you find yourself locked in a dark closet tied up with duck tape and "Call Me Maybe" playing on repeat, you picked yourself a lemon. You probably made the mistake of telling a parent "that kid just needs some discipline".. Save yourself and stick to what you know. It could save your life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G51zrfkSQnY

Until next time- safe picking

Tammy
10.16.2012

Again please share on your facebook page for the greater good of my cause.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

One for the guys


Years ago I had someone give me a book to read that has stayed with me every since. The title is
"His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard F Harley Jr.  The concept of the book is to understand the needs of your spouse. By understanding the needs of them you can make deposits into their love bank on a regular basis thus keeping any outsider from making deposits. In most instances keeping your spouse happy keeps your marriage healthy and affair free.

Love bank- this idea is genius! Basically when you meet your spouses needs you make a deposit into their bank. Every time they need something from you and don't meet that it is open for someone else to come along and fill that void.

You can't meet their needs if you don't know what they are. According to Mr. Harley in this book the following are a man's top 5 needs.

1. SEX (we all knew this)
2. Recreational companion- do what he likes to do- with him
3. Attractive spouse- take care of yourself
4. Peace and quiet- don't nag all the time
5. Admiration- show respect for his role in the family

There you go boys! I am telling all you ladies out there that you need to keep your man satisfied or someone else will. Now before you ladies go throwing things at me listen up. I know there are some men out there that are just dogs no matter what. No matter how much you take care of them, they will stray. For those guys I will do a post in the future addressing how to get even.

And I promise I will be getting around to the gals needs also.

It's hard to provide for a need or emotion that is not our own, but to have the best marriage you can just give it a try.

As far as lemons go, if you pick a bad lemon trying this concept might turn your lemon into something much more appealing.


http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_summary.html

To buy the book click here http://www.amazon.com/His-Needs-Her-Affair-Proof-Anniversary/dp/0800717880

Thanks for reading and until next time- safe picking

Tammy
10.13.2012