Is everyone addicted to something?

Sometimes it feels like everyone has an addiction to something. Hi my name is Tammy and Im a nose spray addict. Yes this is true, I'm not kidding. I panic if I don't have it with me. I would go to about any extreme to get it. I've tried to stop. I've tried the saline stuff and felt like I'd drown before finding relief. To everyone who tells me to just stop I tell them that I will move in with them the first few days and I promise you will be looking for a 24 hour Walgreens to buy my nose junk for me. Needless to say I lose my cherub like demeanor when I can't breath.
Now on to the serious stuff. I am the daughter & ex-wife of an addict and/or alcoholic. There have been times that I wondered if I was so miserable to be around that people had to use just to be around me. I mean I don't have to use to be around me and I'm around me most of the day. I have learned through countless hours of counseling, reading, listening to tapes, researching online, enabling groups, and talking to addicts and doctors that addiction is truly a disease. Just like diabetes or even my epilepsy.  It has to be managed and maintained. An addict can't simply stop because they are upsetting you. I've learned that you can't take things personal. An addict doesn't make a conscience decision to use just to make you mad. Most of the time you are nowhere in the decision at all. These people have been handed a lemon. You just gotta hope they don't make spiked lemonade with them.
I coined a phrase several years ago that I want to share. "Some people are assholes by chemical and some are assholes by nature. The chemical assholes  can stop drinking , smoking or popping but the nature assholes will always be just that. "  My dad is and always will  be the most amazing man in my eyes. He has 24 years clean under his belt and has been an awesome. He has spent everyday since Aug 31, 1988 making up for his mistakes. I am so proud of him.
Have a little compassion when dealing with this disease and remember that it is a disease. Until next time~safe picking

A lemon scented Christmas

So many cleaning supplies are lemon scented. They are designed to clean up something messy and leave a fresh lemony smell. So I guess lemons aren't always bad.

This time of year lots of people are reflecting over past Christmases and what their favorite holiday memories are.

I too, have a favorite childhood memory of Christmas. It was a pair of socks that made my Christmas when I was 16 years old. The socks weren't mine but my dads. See, my dad WAS an alcoholic. For some strange reason when he came home and had been drinking he always took his socks off then put his shoes back on his bare feet. I guess that's where I get my dislike of anything on my feet is from him. I only wear shoes when I'm forced to.

I will never forget that Christmas eve, which is when we opened our gifts, that he came home and had his socks on. Those socks were THE best Christmas gift I have ever received, and still are.That was the first of many wonderful Christmases with my dad. He was been sober now for 26 years and I couldn't be prouder of him. As a matter of fact, I would fight anyone that mistreated him or broke his heart.


In my previous post "Is everyone addicted to something" I talk about a phrase I coined. "some people are asses by nature and some people are asses by chemical" The nature asses can't stop drinking anything to be tolerable. So, like those scented cleaning supplies, not everything that smells like a lemon has to be bad.

I love you daddy!
Until next time- safe picking
Tammy
12.18.2012

I know Jesus turned water into wine, but what can He do with a lemon?

World English Dictionary

faith (feɪθ)
— n
1.	strong or unshakeable belief in something, esp without proof or evidence
2.	a specific system of religious beliefs
3.	Christianity trust in God and in his actions and promises
4.	a conviction of the truth of certain doctrines of religion, esp when this is not based on reason
5.	complete confidence or trust in a person, remedy, etc I was saved as a small child and baptized shortly after. But it was years later when I truly learned the meaning of Faith. About 5 years ago I was on a ski trip with my husband and sitting in a hotel room flipping through the channels. I came across Frederick Price's sermon on Faith. After just a few moments I was on the floor sobbing like a little child counting my many blessings. See, 7 yrs prior to that, I was in the darkest place I had ever been in my life. I had about 5 life changing blows in a 6 month span. I was tired and honestly didn't care if I lived or died. I met a man at my new job who changed me forever. His biblical intelligence was more than anyone I had ever met and still to this day have met. He introduced me to a book titled "How Faith Works" by Frederick Price. The principal of the book is based on Mark 11:22 22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly[a] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. I learned how to pray and ask God for what I needed, but more importantly how to have Faith that He had me covered. I was praying for God to simply take care of me, give me the wisdom to know which path He was leading me and for a Godly man to come into my life. So when I was sitting in that hotel room all those years later and Dr. Price was preaching on Faith, I was overwhelmed with the realization that He had answered all my prayers. I had gotten my happy ending. I never had been without. I has married to an amazing man. He had taken all my lemons and turned them into the most beautiful blessings a girl could ask for. I also learned patience. Our schedule and God doesn't always match. What I think is the best thing for me sometimes is the worst. I now just pray for His will to be done and to have the sight to see it so I don't miss my blessing. There is an old church story about a church  that gathers to pray for rain for their small town that is in the middle of a draught. When the congregation shows up the preacher asked why they didn't have umbrellas if they really had faith that God was going to answer their prayers. God has a plan for each of us. No matter when things are going great or we are in the middle of a life tragedy, He's got this. You just have to have FAITH! Until next time- Safe picking Tammy 12.6.2012

A lemon is a lemon, no matter how you got it

 

All of my post are about a something that I have experienced. However, this one is about someone that I love very dearly.

 

I have found that talking about homelessness can strike a cord just like religion and politics can. There are some that I've learned to just stay away from the subject. I feel that most people are so close minded about it. They should "just get a job" or "they chose to smoke the crack that put them there".

 

Everyone has a story in life. All of us have a beginning and a middle that led us to where we are now. And not every ones story is as rosy as most. There are definitely people who were handed the lemon that landed them on the streets. Many are mentally ill, abused women or war veterans that just never found their place back in society.

 

 

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

 

Several years ago I started something called Operation Homeless Bags. A group of my friends, instead of exchanging Christmas gifts, put our money into stuffing these huge ziploc bags with things like gloves, water, chapstick, paper and envelopes with stamps, crackers, prayer cards, etc., and gave to the home less shelter.

 

I have continued this tradition with help from donators and volunteers. 

 

 

 

 

 

Last winter I was meeting my son, who was homeless at that time, to give him food, water and blankets. When I got the blanket from my backseat I saw the corner of one of those ziploc bags. My work I was doing for total strangers had come full circle and I gave that last bag to my son. Talk about having your heart ripped from your chest.

 

When you see these people you don't have to give them money. Give them food or carry a bag of snacks in your car for them. But most importantly just give them a smile and remind them that God loves them. They are just as important in His eyes as we are. I now try to give them something, even if it's my lunch I brought.

 

^{Matthew 25:40} “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

 

HOW MANY OF US ARE 1 OR 2 PAYCHECKS AWAY FROM BEING THERE WITH THEM?

 

If you would like to donate by cash or by giving items to Operation Homeless Bags please email  me at tompatam@gmail.com

 

Thanks so much to all the wonderful people who have donated already and are helping me grow my little grass roots project.

 

Until next time- Safe picking

 

Tammy

 

 

 

 

So you were handed a lemon.....

By now your probably getting the jest of figuring out the difference between being handed a lemon or picking a lemon yourself. But the thing to learn is when you are handed a lemon to put into perspective just how big your lemon is.

I know I'm the worst for dealing with things like my son going to prison or my brother dying of cancer and almost being mad at the rest of the world for it. "How can everyone just go about their day? Do they not understand my world is crashing down. They shouldn't be laughing". I admit, some days I felt like that.

But then one day this horrific tragedy happened. I did not know the lady personally but did remember her from high school. For the blogs purpose we'll call her Queen Chiquita. I was just stunned by all the details that came out about how this woman lost her husband in this fiery crash, due to someone who was high on drugs. I just could not stop thinking about it. I sent her an email and tried to come up with any kind of words, as a lot of us did. In the following weeks, the emails exchanged with this amazing lady were truly a blessing to me. Every time I started to feel sorry for myself, I always thought of her. Not only in the sense of the level of her tragedy but how she handled it. I've learned so much from this woman, who is truly after God's own heart, and I haven't even met her yet.

She says she is a mess, but what a beautiful mess she is. No one expects her to be anything other for right now and a long time to come. But, in a sense, she has become a huge fan of mine and loves the blogs. Most days when I write, it's because I have her in mind and know that for the few minutes she is reading, maybe I can take her somewhere other than this nightmare she's in.

With my son, he's alive and someday will be coming home. I have an awesome husband, even though there are days I want to stab him. My brother is dying, but I've been given notice so I can make the most of my time with him. There are issues at work, but I have a job.

Thank you Queen Chiquita for just how much you have blessed so many around you just by being open with your story. I look forward to meeting you in person someday soon.

Thanks for reading

Until next time- safe picking

Tammy

Oh, by the way. On the right side of the blog you can become one of my followers. I now have 12 countries reading but would love to know who some of you are.

This crow sure tastes a lot like a bitter lemon

 

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Eating crow is a U.S. colloquial idiom,^[1] meaning humiliation by admitting wrongness or having been proved wrong after taking a strong position

 

Today is all about having to say you're sorry to someone. In our minds, the perfect situation would go as follows; You call/text/email/mail/sky write your apology to the person and the immediately accept it and you hold hands and skip your way into happily ever after.

 

But, what happens when you do offer you apology and things go awry instead. Uh oh! This happened to me recently. Things did not go as planned. At this point I'm left trying to figure out what plan B is. Do I go with

 

A. I really didn't mean the apology and they call them every name in the book

B. Do I try the apology again but maybe take a different approach

C. I did my part and it wasn't received so life goes on

 

I'll be honest, other than A. I'm really sure between B and C what the correct answer is. This may be a topic for Linda from Coffee Talk to address but the Bible says this about the subject; 

 

Mat 6:14-15 (NIV) "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

I am a total people pleaser so I would rather pull my toenails out with pliers than have someone be upset with me. So, please chime in with any words of wisdom that you can offer.

So, I guess if the crow your eating is bitter, you chose a lemon by whatever your actions were that led you there. Learn your lesson and go in peace.

Until next time- safe picking

Tammy

 

You gotta squeeze a few lemons...

When I was married the first time, right out of high school, we were together for 100+ years before it ended. So, for the first time, as an  adult, I found myself out in the dating world. I thought this is great, I can go find my prince charming and live "happy, happy happy" (sorry I'm a it obsessed with the Robertsons right now).

Like every other female on the planet I had my list of all the things I wanted in my dream guy. He had to be tall, dark, handsome and make me laugh. A good job, stable lifestyle and love of the country would be an added bonus.

After dating several guys, I began to see, that after about the age of 25 we all start to have baggage that we are toting around. I found a tall dark handsome guy, but his love of recreational drugs was more than his love for me. I found another not so tall handsome guy, but his obsessive and childlike ways soon took over the handsome part. My nephew stayed with me a lot back then and would screen anyone I was going out with. I will never forget the night a blind date showed up wearing a short sleeve dress shirt and a pocket protector for his pens. My nephew just looked and me and shook his head as to say "just move along buddy".

After about a year I started to realize that I did not need a list of what I was looking for but rather a list of what I did not want. Looking for those things was more important.

It's kinda a quirky list, but here was my "DO NOT WANT" list.

No smoking- no explanation needed

Non EL Camino driving and Thousand Island dressing eater guy- think about it, every creepy guy you see does one or the other of these. I'm not kidding about this one.

No one named Tim or Timmy- bad memories from 3rd grade

No one with hair on the backs of their arms

No one who talked to their mom for than 3 times a day

No mock turtle neckers

No one who grew up with a lot more money than my family had- just makes it hard to relate to each other

No one who had served anything other than Thanksgiving at the homeless shelter (no time)

Absolutely no male who had a cat, especially if that was their only animal. Real single men don't have cats

No one who cried within the first six months (ok if your dog got ran over, but not for your cat)

oh, and no pocket protectors......

I finally found by weeding out because they had a quality that was on my no no list I seemed to get farther than looking for dream guy list. We all have our line in the sand of things we will not tolerate. But sometimes there are things that are a positive feature in someone and we don't even know it until we give them a chance.

I did finally find my prince charming and he doesn't do anything from the list. However, one day out of the blue, he did order Thousand Island dressing eating dinner and I had to have a come to Jesus meeting with him. Things have been just peachy since.

Sometimes you gotta squeeze a few lemons to keep yourself from picking one.

Until next time- safe picking

Tammy

But wait, I thought I was a Leo not a lemon

 

Let's see how honest you can be about yourself with a little test

 

#1- what is your age?

#2 what is your weight?

#3 are you a good singer?

#4 do you look good for your age?

#5 have you ever been someone's lemon?

 

You're probably starting to catch on to what things in life that we are handed and what things we choose for ourselves. But are you to the the point that you can admit, that no matter how amazing we are, that we could be bad news for someone else? That one kinda stung didn't it?

 

Say if you are the kind of indiviual that is emotionally high maintenence trying to make it with someone whose idea of PDA is riding in the car with you, you might be getting that "you're a great person, but I'm not right for you" speech in the future. Even though they aren't meeting your needs this pendulum of love swings both directions.

 

How about if you are a highly social person who like to party and partake in a lot of adult beverages, you probably aren't very healthy for someone who is a recovering alcoholic.

 

But, these things can change. If you haven't read my post "lemonade wine....a love story", you should check it out. It's about someone who realized just how sour they had been to their spouse and are working on changing their ways.

 

We are put on this earth to worship God, love one another and take care of one another. But you need to get to that deep down honesty level within yourself where you can identify when, possibly,  you may not be the best choice for something. I know we live in a world of me, me, me. We are so programmed to think is this right for me, or are they right for me, and if not, we automatically put them in the "thanks for coming but you're flawed" pile and move on.

 

 

 

Just try for a week using the logic in whatever you do, "am I right for this?" if not, save that person year and thousands of dollars of therapy and just move on.

 

Until next time-safe picking

 

Tammy

 

Just for fun take this personality quiz http://kisa.ca/personality/

Lemon Fruit Salad

So what if the day comes and you do indeed decide that you picked a lemon and do depart with it?

What happens if you made little ones together? You have to find a way to allow the lemon to still survive on this here "planet earth", as Phil Robertson would say. Because exes aren't suppose to get along after it's over, right?

Isn't it true that, after a divorce, you, your friends, family and everyone you've ever known have to pick a side and can not cross that line without the penalty of death?

As fruity as my family is, we have always been very open to still include any exes long after the love has ended. This just makes for a much better situation for the children. My ex has spent many Christmas with us and my son is 25. Sometimes it is just easier due to not having to run all over the planet.

 

 

Now, just to cover the bases, if your significant other is spending Easter in the Hampton's with their ex and they don't have children or a multi-million dollar business they are running, it's time to fire up the incinerator.

 

Sometimes we just have to add lemon to our fruit family salad, and that's ok.

 

 

Until next time- safe picking

 

Tammy

Lemonade Wine- A Love Story

This story is inspired by something I have been so blessed to be part of. I just have to share this because I have been so moved by what I have seen. God is writing the love story of a friend of mine and it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen right before my eyes. This friend of mine has felt comfortable enough to share some intimate details of the end of a marriage and what led up to it with me. But, they have also shared with me how, about a month ago, that the Lord has taken hold of their heart and will not let go.

The story begins like so many do with the belly flies and love twinkling in a young couples eyes. After years of life just getting in the way, distance begins to grow and things start to deteriorate. We'll call them Marshall Dillion and Miss Kitty for the blogs purpose. When the end of the beginning started Miss Kitty would do anything to save her marriage. Marshall, after years of taking her for granted and ignoring her needs, was just letting their marriage slip through his fingers. I guess like the old saying "you don't know what you've got til its gone".

But eventually Miss Kitty came to terms with the end of her life as she had known it the last several years and started to embrace a new, single life. This is where God said, "not so fast, I got more plans for this couple".  As the final day starts approaching Marshall is starting to finally realize just how much he loves Miss Kitty and what a mistake he is making. God is tugging on those heart strings like crazy. As an outsider, I'm watching this happen. I truly feel it's not just one of those, "I'm in trouble so I'm turning to religion to fix it" kind of things. I think Marshall's heart is truly changed with or without Miss Kitty. Whats really happened is that Marshall has realized that he was her lemon. He knows all the mistakes he's made and is ready to remedy them.

I would guess that Miss Kitty would be feeling like she picked a lemon with Marshall. But what if this situation is reversed. What if the lemon you thought you picked was really just a grape that needed time to become that succulent glass of wine that you had always craved?

This has been like watching a movie and waiting to get to the happy ending. But no matter how this story ends, just watching this person grown closer to God has been such a blessing to me. The world is on Marshall's shoulders right now but someday he will be able to see that God is the one writing his love story. Maybe Miss Kitty will be able to see that her lemon was well worth the wait for it to turn into something beautiful.

Until Next time- if you did pick a lemon say a little prayer that it will become a devine wine grape

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcyuqv_clay-walker-this-woman-and-this-man_music

Tammy

oh and Marshall, we all deserve to have someone "love the shit out of us"

His Needs HER Needs, part 2

I promised that I would get to the ladies blog about getting what we want. Going back to the book I referenced in the "one for the guys" blog titled His Needs, Her Needs the first thing he says that a woman needs is someone to listen.

Here's a little parable; A while back I called one of my managers about some frustrations I was having at work. I lite into him with everything from our hours to money to messiness to low tire pressure to night sweats and cellulite. After about 5 non stop minutes of me ranting, there was silence. Finally when we could muster up some courage he said" Tammy what do I need to do to fix this for you". Wrong! I replied "Mr. (Carlos) do you not know anything about women? I don't need you to fix anything I just wanted you to listen!" Men, majority of the time we just need you to listen and simply respond with " man that's gotta suck!". End of story.

Another thing he says that is important is having a man that can take care of us. I know women are all liberated these days and fighting for equal rights but I think when it comes down to it we wanna know our man can provide for us IF we needed him to.

If men would only realize that not only affection, but how little of it that it takes, will carry them a very long way. Women need to be touched and hugged and kissed and winked at. Those little small things will make most of us go to the moon and back for our man. Some where along the way a nasty rumor must have started that said if they slapped us on the behind when we were bent over that it turned our crank. Not so much.

 Everytime that our man doesn't fill these needs for us and another man takes the time to listen to us, or tells us that we look pretty, someone else is starting to make deposits into our love banks. Multiple depositors will ALWAYS lead to trouble.

Men I promise if you will do these small things for your lady you will get it back tenfold! So I guess if you picked a non-affectionate, no PDA kind of lemon, you have to just accept it or teach him how to treat you!

Until next time- Safe picking!

Tammy

Is dysfunctional your normal?

 

Ah, Honey Boo Boo! I understand that so many watch these types of shows or rather shake their heads at these shows in disgust and utter disappointment. I choose to have some compassion for things like these. I guess coming from a very dysfunctional family I know the struggle it is to overcome and not repeat the past. I would bet my right arm that this lovely June (momma) probably did not come from a thorough bred family where they had tea and crumpets on the south lawn every Saturday afternoon. I would imagine that June probably came from a family just like she is raising now herself. Most of the time these types of situation occur just because people don't know any different. That's how they were raise and that's all they know. I'm sure June thinks she's showing Honey the love with her butter and ketchup concoction she makes for her because it makes Honey smile.

 

Another example, I know a family that has 4 generations of women living in one trailer. All unmarried and still having babies. This is a perfect scenario of the past repeating itself. But they do not know anything different.

 

I guess if you come from dysfunctional you have to be able to recognize, (or maybe redneckonize), and make the choice to not let it affect your future. I hear all the time that "I had a bad childhood" or "my parents were not loving". You have to see these things and change or you will just be passing these on to your young'ins.

 

 

Take Lindsey Lohan, if you listen to her mother Deena for more than 5 mins you want to hurl yourself in front of a bus. But if you can endure her for more than 5 mins you will learn that she is just repeating what she knows and has pass that onto Lindsey.

 

I heard a very profound statement once. Listen close cause this is good, "Cause someone doesn't love you the way you want doesn't mean they aren't loving you with the best that they have" pause for chill bumps

 

So stop blaming your parents! They did the best that they know how. They may have been just duplicating their childhood. But, you can break the cycle.

 

 Also, when you see these families and are quick to pass judgement and want to call them trash or rednecks or whatever, just remember, they are only doing the things they know. If they had your childhood then they would act more like you.

The best revenge when you have been wronged is to not let it affect your future. If you didn't feel loved as a child, smother your children with love. If you were yelled at all the time, remember how that felt before you start to yell.

Mark 12:31 ESV /    

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

So that dysfunctional lemon that was handed to you can be squashed immediately and save future generations a lot of suffering.

Again, thanks for reading and until next time- Safe Picking!

TT

Step away from the infomercial and drop the credit card.

Help! I'm broke and can't buy baby food!

If you find yourself standing in line at the utility board waiting to make some payment arrangement because you have no money, maybe it's time to take a hard look at your spending habits.

I can say this because I am an "as seen on TV" junkie. I've spent money I didn't have on everything from Sensa to steam cleaners, to pipe snakes, to genie bras and creams to make me look like I'm 12 again.

I learned the very hard way that no one will feel sorry for me when I have no money but am toting the newest Michael Kors purse. Maybe it's time to back away from the TV and have someone you trust kidnap your MasterCard.




There comes a point in our adult lives that we have to become an adult and make better choices with what we have.

Matthew 25:21

New International Version (NIV)

 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

So if you are struggling with your finances but have a closet full of fabulous shoes, maybe just maybe, you picked yourself a green dollar lemon!

Until next time- safe picking!

Tammy

10.17.2012

Non-Parents giving parental advice

I really hope of all my post that today's will be the one to truly save someones life. I'm speaking about those who love to give advice on child rearing when they haven't so much as raised a hamster on their own. I believe that having children is an experience that just can't be described to you non-kid people. Even if you have nieces and nephews you adore there is still no comparison.

There have been many times when, in a conversation with a non-kid person, that you might notice me getting this glazed over look. If you are around you may want to step back. In my mind I am usually fantasizing about stabbing them in the eye with a plastic fork or locking them in a porta potty and setting it on fire then pushing it down a hill.

I'm sure after some time of being married or having children that a single person or non-kid person could have an instance of something that we couldn't understand. That's ok. Just please, please, please DO NOT give advice about a subject that you truly know nothing about.

Lemons- so I guess if you find yourself locked in a dark closet tied up with duck tape and "Call Me Maybe" playing on repeat, you picked yourself a lemon. You probably made the mistake of telling a parent "that kid just needs some discipline".. Save yourself and stick to what you know. It could save your life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G51zrfkSQnY

Until next time- safe picking

Tammy
10.16.2012

Again please share on your facebook page for the greater good of my cause.

One for the guys



Years ago I had someone give me a book to read that has stayed with me every since. The title is
"His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard F Harley Jr.  The concept of the book is to understand the needs of your spouse. By understanding the needs of them you can make deposits into their love bank on a regular basis thus keeping any outsider from making deposits. In most instances keeping your spouse happy keeps your marriage healthy and affair free.

Love bank- this idea is genius! Basically when you meet your spouses needs you make a deposit into their bank. Every time they need something from you and don't meet that it is open for someone else to come along and fill that void.

You can't meet their needs if you don't know what they are. According to Mr. Harley in this book the following are a man's top 5 needs.

1. SEX (we all knew this)
2. Recreational companion- do what he likes to do- with him
3. Attractive spouse- take care of yourself
4. Peace and quiet- don't nag all the time
5. Admiration- show respect for his role in the family

There you go boys! I am telling all you ladies out there that you need to keep your man satisfied or someone else will. Now before you ladies go throwing things at me listen up. I know there are some men out there that are just dogs no matter what. No matter how much you take care of them, they will stray. For those guys I will do a post in the future addressing how to get even.

And I promise I will be getting around to the gals needs also.

It's hard to provide for a need or emotion that is not our own, but to have the best marriage you can just give it a try.

As far as lemons go, if you pick a bad lemon trying this concept might turn your lemon into something much more appealing.


http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_summary.html

To buy the book click here http://www.amazon.com/His-Needs-Her-Affair-Proof-Anniversary/dp/0800717880

Thanks for reading and until next time- safe picking

Tammy
10.13.2012

SUPERSIZE my Lemon Please



This is an issue that I still struggle with. In a perfect world, to me, everything food wise would be super-sized! I love to cook and I love to eat. But loving to eat and getting old don't exactly like each other.

About 5 years ago I lost 40lbs and was in fantastic shape. I promised that I would never let myself get out of shape ever again. But guess what? In a matter of 4 years I had a hysterectomy, double knee surgery, a shoulder injury, job that wasn't diet friendly, low tire pressure, PMS, global warming, trouble in Haiti and everything else that I could blame for me gaining my weight back.

So basically I picked a lemon and instead of just adding it to my water like I should have I made a lemon meringue pie and ate the whole dad burn thing. I could blame the weight on any or all those things above or even bad genes. But, you know what it comes down to? I ate more calories than I burned, PERIOD!

I understand that some people do truly have medical issues that keep them from losing weight, but for most of us it's just about being honest with yourself.

I am not an athlete by any means. I wear tennis shoes and drink Gatorade, that's the extent of my athletic ability. I sprained my ankle vacuuming once for heavens sake! But I am trying.

So any help from anyone who would like to take this lemon from me would be appreciated.

Until next time- safe picking

Tammy
10.10.2012

Don't hand the lemon you picked to someone else

Today's thoughts were inspired by watching Dr. Phil. Yes, I am a Dr. Phil junkie. I love his no nonsense approach to life. The jest of today's blog is about when we make bad choices and others we love are affected by them.

A perfect example is a couple that chooses to have an affair. Not only do you break up families but also run the risk of having a child from that affair. This particular show had a lady and a married man that were expecting a child. Later on in the show a young lady came on who found out she was the product of an affair and was devastated. She never recovered from this. It has ruined her marriage and she trust no one. She said she felt like everyone who saw her was disappointed because she came from such a terrible decision that her mother and father made. It was heartbreaking. I would encourage everyone to watch the video. Even if you aren't having an affair, just understanding how the choices you make as a parent can affect your children. I have made some really bad choices and live everyday trying to make up for those. I just pray that none of mine affected my son like this girl was.

This is the same for making bad decisions such as using drugs, bringing an abusive person into the home, or just simply teaching your children bad love habits. They watch how we love and that's how they learn. If you are detached and not affectionate with your spouse, they do not learn themselves how to be affectionate.

I guess today is about if your are going to pick a lemon yourself, just please make certain that it will only involve you and someday your children will not be dealing with the issue of being handed that same lemon.

To watch the show that I am referring to click the following
http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/1881

Again thanks for reading and until next time- safe picking!

Tammy
10.9.2012

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Live like you were Dying

I am going today to spend some time with my sweet brother who is living with cancer. So, this has inspired me to write about truly being handed a lemon.

I would like for you to take a few minutes to watch the following video

 http://www.jeffprobst.com/posts/1735_kelly_s_first_appearance_part_1/index.html
This incredible lady needs to have a Superwoman tattooed on that beautiful bald head of hers. Talk about someone being handed a lemon with grace and poise. This woman makes most of us healthy people look like losers. She made me want to take her cancer from her just so she can have more time her to shine her light here on earth.

Back to my brother. He is a true man of faith and has never once, at least not that I'm aware of, asked "why me". He just put all this in Gods hands and has never looked back. We know that his time left is very limited. The doctors have said that they can do no more for him and have called hospice in. He seems to be the one holding it together for all of us. He hasn't lost his sense of humor and can still make me smile.This man is having his lemonade and smiling the whole time.

How many of us are wallowing in our own pity about things that we brought on ourselves when there are people like Kelly out there that have a better quality of life. You really have to look at your situation and ask "was I handed this lemon or did I pick this lemon?". Take ownership in your life. Be honest with your self finally and make the choice to changes things, even if just your attitude, once and for all.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matt 6:25-27 NIV

Now do like my brother did and put on your big girl panties and deal with your life!

Again, thanks for paying along and until next time-

Safe picking!

Tammy

10.6.2012

He's/She's just not that into you

Today's thought are about all those Sat nights that you sit at home because "he said he'd call" and you believed him. Oh, I remember those days and nights. Just when you thought you met that perfect someone and you were finally going to be living happily ever after, and Bam they fizzle out faster than a sparkler in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Long ago when I was single I did this just like most single people do. I remember seeing an author on some talk show that had written the book "Surrendered Single" and "Surrendered Wife".  If you are single or a wife, please stop reading right now and go buy either of these books. I love how it teaches you to go for what you deserve and not settle. It also teaches you how to teach men how to treat you. You know what slow learners they are.

While you're at the book store or Amazon go ahead and grab "He's just not that into you". It's harsh I know. So many people refuse to see the real picture and force others to be rude to get the point across.
Probably a good rule of thumb with everyone in life, not just boyfriends, but anyone is that if they are not calling 9 times out of 10 its because they don't want to. Unless they were kidnapped and living in some under world in Cambodia all of us have access to technology.

So I guess the lemon portion here is that if you are sitting at home drowning your sorrows with a Sex and the City marathon wondering why you are alone when "he said he would call"- you picked a lemon. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go have some fun. When you get to the point that you can go to a restaurant, not fast food, and eat by yourself, then you're stable/secure material for Mr. Right to come sweep up.

A MAN WHO IS WORTH YOUR TEARS WILL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY!!!

Until next time- safe picking
Tammy
10.4.2012

Men Cont.

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Men, oh my!!

I really did decide to start with a doozy, didnt I? To start with let me lay the ground rules. #1 I am changing the names to protect those that really need to be stabbed and locked in a porta potty. #2 this will not be for the faint of heart. If you dont want someone telling you how it is you should just leave and go turn on Delilah.

Here goes. So many women including myself make some horrible choices when it comes to men. One of mine biggest mistakes was that when the first one didn't work I thought I needed to go the opposite direction and it would be all rainbows and roses. WRONG! After mentally and fianacially destroying me I spent many months wallowing in pity and depair. HeeHaw called and wanted me to do their cornfield skit I was so bad (HeeHaw is not going to ring a bell for anyone under 35). Everyday I had to deal with some mess he caused. I had no self esteem. At times I was afraid to be alone. I ended up having to sell my house cause I couldn't afford it and move in with my sister. I went from having everything to having a bedroom. But you know what, I chose to marry Mr.What the Hell was I thinking. Thats his name for this blogs purpose. Then the day came that I thought I was ready to date and maybe give men another chance without killing them and telling Jesus they died. But I was so screwed up that I continued to pick one loser after another. I got in a cycle of dating people I'd dated before just cause they were comfortable. But then it dawned on me that, you know, I wouldn't be eating crap sandwiches everyday if I'd hadn't made the choice to marry this man. So, no matter how awful he was, ultimately I made the choice so I can't blame anyone but my self. I see now that probably 50% of crap I dealt with back then that I brought on myself. I had a friend who I once was very close with but not so much now. But, I've never forgotten what J said to me. She said "as long as you're broken all you're going to attract is broken people". OMGOODNESS thats good stuff!! It's ok to be alone. If you're still screwed up the only people who are going to be around you are in a pit deeper than you are. We attract people like ourselves. Ok so I know some of you are ticked at me for that last statement but it's true.
So this is a perfect lesson where I picked the lemon myself.

This just scratches the surface of these complicated creatures so I think this will take a few more sessions to unwind this ball of duck tape that we call men.
If you have any questions or comments email me at tammy@handedlemonorpickedalemon.com
I would also love if you have a scenario you need some assistance with.
Until next time, safe picking
10.2.2012

Were you handed a lemon or did you pick it?

This blog was inspired by several encounters with some different ladies and also from my past life. I guess the point is to learn the difference in being dealt a bad hand and choosing a bad hand. I used to think that I have had the worst luck and life and been so difficult for me. Now I come across so many others (women mostly but a few men too) who have this same opinion.

How to understand the difference and start to move on from either

Sept 30th 2012
I hope you choose to follow along on the journey and please feel free to email me if you have questions or comments. I can be emailed at handedlemonorpickedalemon@gmail.com. To begin with the reason I feel like I can talk about this is because I've lived and/or survived the things I talk about. Some things I'm still struggling with. I hope this journey can help others and also whip me back into shape on the things that I still need to work on. So many people just throw themselves pity parties on a daily basis and I have come to learn that so much stuff we create ourselves. Once you learn the difference in the two things it can make life easier. I will be starting my first entry tomorrow Oct 1, 2012 with the complicated issue of men. Hope you will join me.